So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize