please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When are your genitals available?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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