I just made out with a guy for $7.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
