We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
