i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize