Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
