I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
