her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
