Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
