i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
