So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize