If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
sarcasm needs its own font
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
