My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
