apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
