Say something about gay babies.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize