In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
