Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
