Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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