had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
