and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
