I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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