I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize