She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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