actually, I'm a sock model
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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