Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
