$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
