honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
