You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
