I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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