Only a mothe r could love this liver
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
