i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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