so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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