He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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