She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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