I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
