Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
