Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
