Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
