this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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