he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
