ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My dick has a subreddit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
