scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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