Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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