Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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