Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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