i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
