He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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