I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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