he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
