Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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