i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
