i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
