absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
