You're so nebulous sometimes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
