how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
