it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
