When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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