Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize