I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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