Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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