Your dad touched me again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
