So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
