I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize