You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
