Quick, to the slutcave!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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