The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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