when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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