apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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