Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
