I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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