First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
