sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
