i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
